Some people already know what they're meant to do/be for the rest of their lives...but me...I'm stuck somewhere in between and I have no idea yet.
4.5.12
25.4.12
Dreaaaaaam
Senseless post. I just want to let it all out~
This is another dream I somehow remember. Alpha waves are working man (Sorry, sudden nerd mode). Anyway, these are the things that happened:
This is another dream I somehow remember. Alpha waves are working man (Sorry, sudden nerd mode). Anyway, these are the things that happened:
24.4.12
Moving Forward
I have been ranting for the past few days about getting a job or doing something "productive". It's because I felt like I needed to. It felt as if I am obligated...but somewhere within me, I feel like not wanting to find a job at all right now and I don't know why. 30 minutes ago, a friend scheduled me for an initial job interview on Wednesday and I felt really good, at first. Right after ending our conversation, I began to feel scared and I wanted to back out. Now, I am asking myself why I am like this.
I was the one who wanted to find a freakin' job.
Now that it's there, I don't want it. Why? Why am I so scared? I somehow don't get the moving forward after college part. I know I need to learn but just like a vampire scared to step into the sunlight, I too, am scared to step out into the real world.
I am so confused.
I don't know what I want. I don't know if I'll find something that I want.
Help me.
Save me.
I was the one who wanted to find a freakin' job.
Now that it's there, I don't want it. Why? Why am I so scared? I somehow don't get the moving forward after college part. I know I need to learn but just like a vampire scared to step into the sunlight, I too, am scared to step out into the real world.
I am so confused.
I don't know what I want. I don't know if I'll find something that I want.
Help me.
Save me.
25.3.12
Changes.
I promised myself recently that I will take care of myself more when I finish the whole school thing. I took step one today!
Achievement Unlocked!
I went to this gym in Las Pinas and applied to become a member. It has been at least 4 years since I stepped inside a gym so I am proud of myself. :3 Tomorrow is my "trial" + consultation day in the gym and I feel excited. This is one of those moments that makes me feel like I am really moving on in life. :)
You know, my weight has been a forever issue in the family, the gossipers next door, the "friends" back then, to Christian who never fails to annoy (and sometimes offend, yes...offend xD) me about the weight jokes, and of course, to myself who keeps on comparing with other people. I want to remove that issue/insecurity forever coz I really feel like getting nowhere if I don't start with that. With what I did today, life changes step by step. :) I will work hard to deserve the happiness I've been dreaming of. YAY!
Fighting, Reese! ^_^
Achievement Unlocked!
I went to this gym in Las Pinas and applied to become a member. It has been at least 4 years since I stepped inside a gym so I am proud of myself. :3 Tomorrow is my "trial" + consultation day in the gym and I feel excited. This is one of those moments that makes me feel like I am really moving on in life. :)
You know, my weight has been a forever issue in the family, the gossipers next door, the "friends" back then, to Christian who never fails to annoy (and sometimes offend, yes...offend xD) me about the weight jokes, and of course, to myself who keeps on comparing with other people. I want to remove that issue/insecurity forever coz I really feel like getting nowhere if I don't start with that. With what I did today, life changes step by step. :) I will work hard to deserve the happiness I've been dreaming of. YAY!
Fighting, Reese! ^_^
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