Moving Forward

I have been ranting for the past few days about getting a job or doing something "productive". It's because I felt like I needed to. It felt as if I am obligated...but somewhere within me, I feel like not wanting to find a job at all right now and I don't know why. 30 minutes ago, a friend scheduled me for an initial job interview on Wednesday and I felt really good, at first. Right after ending our conversation, I began to feel scared and I wanted to back out. Now, I am asking myself why I am like this.

I was the one who wanted to find a freakin' job.


Now that it's there, I don't want it. Why? Why am I so scared? I somehow don't get the moving forward after college part. I know I need to learn but just like a vampire scared to step into the sunlight, I too, am scared to step out into the real world.

I am so confused.
I don't know what I want. I don't know if I'll find something that I want.


Help me.
Save me.