Christmas

Christmas used to make me happy. Really happy. Now, I feel nothing. No, a little sad...maybe. I just don't feel its meaning anymore.

I thought my Christmas-es would be better because of a promise I've held on to for some time now...but that promise...it never happened. It will probably never happen. oh well.

Anyway, back to cooking for tonight's Noche Buena.

-SHJ

Delayed Post about December 20

December 20 was the release of grades.

My heart was seriously pounding coz I feel like all my hard work's going to end up in vain. But no. Not really. :)

I checked my grades and they were all okay. Still worthy of being a dean's lister. :D I was never the type who begs for an upgrade/change of grade so I really feel contented with what I got. :) It's not that high (especially floating subjects) but for some strange reason, the feeling of contentment was greater compared to the previous terms. haha.

I feel so blessed. Things really happen because of other reasons. :)

I hope you guys also feel the same way with your grades. :)

-SHJ

Day NINE: Top Five People You’d Like To Kill

1. That Girl.
2. Annoying Neighbor
3. People who hurt the ones I love
4. That other dude.
5. @#%#$^ 

Day EIGHT: Top Five Biggest Fictional Crushes

1. Kim Joo Won (Hyun Bin) of Secret Garden - I just...waaah. I know he's your typical rich guy who falls in love with your typical not-so-rich female protagonist but there's so much depth in his character. A very realistic show. Tugs heartstrings. 
2. Shota Kazehaya (Kimi ni Todoke) - It feels good to have a guy that's so outgoing, caring and all that...It makes you feel really loved.
3. Motoharu Yano (Bokura Ga Ita) - It also makes me feel good to take care of someone...no matter how fragile and "self-blaming" that person may be. 
4. Lee Yoon Sung (Korean Adaptation of City Hunter) - He so bad ass pulling off cool stunts. Also, he's so smart. o_O I like smart guys. srsly.
5. Nickhun in We Got Married - It's actually a reality show for virtual marriages. Nickhun was a husband there and I dunno if he's really like that in real life but the way he carried himself during his broadcast....waaaaah. I want someone like him too. So caring, so loving, so sweet. waaah. o_O

Day SEVEN: Top Five Favorite Historical Figures

1. Jeanne d'Arc (Joan of Arc)
2. Ludwig Van Beethoven
3. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
4. Queen Elizabeth I
5. Henry VIII

Day SIX: Top Five Things That Happened To You This Past Year

Highlights of this Year:

1. Thesis - when you work hard, you will reap rewards. Very much like a rocky road experience but it's okay. :)
2. Reviving almost non-existent Social life - Work and then, PLAY. We shouldn't have it any other way. :) 
3. The return of the...yeah. - Not so good but life changing. 
4. Making Life Plans
5. New people.

Day FIVE: Top Five Places You’d Like To Live

Seoul, South Korea

I really I left a part of me there and no. This is not about my ex. I really like that place. I really feel comfortable here. It feels like home. 

A view of Seoul from the 63 Building. (cr: southmusic)

Day FOUR: Top Five Things About The Internet

1. A great substitute to TV's and Radios
2. An outlet of ideas
3. Increases social interaction with people you know and every other person in the planet who has access to the internet
4. Torrents
5. The best go-to place if you need to find answers

Day THREE: Top Five Names You Wish Were Yours

1. Anastacia
2. Antoinette 
3. Shin Hyun Jae or maybe Shin Yeon Jae (I really want to have my Korean name registered. Don't judge)
4. Charlotte 
5. Julienne

Day TWO: Top Five Favorite Books You've Read For School

The Paradox of Choice - Barry Schwartz

This was the book that started everything that I went through for thesis. Our mentor got the book while waiting in the airport. He just found something to read and coincidentally, the book became useful for our thesis. :D Personally, I like the book because of the fact that it tells us about how we unconsciously make decisions that actually corresponds to our own satisfaction and happiness.

Day ONE: Top Five Favorite Excuses

1. I'm Okay. - Half the time I make this excuse to avoid people from poking my feelings. T_T
2. I have so many things to do. - This is true. I don't remember a time last term that I didn't have any academic requirement to do.
3. I'm not so sure. - It happens when I have an answer in mind but then again, I really feel it's not what you want to hear.
4. I forgot. - I really did forget something. I keep forgetting things that are important (most of the time...like birthdays) and the more unimportant things, they're in my memory center
5. Sorry - I apologize to people all the time. I dunno. I always feel guilty when I do weird things o_O

30 Day Challenge

Yes, I am starting today but let's assume that I started last December 16 (since it was the official start of my vacation):

Day One: Top Five Favorite Excuses

Day Two: Top Five Favorite Books You’ve Read For School

Day Three: Top Five Names You Wish Were Yours

Day Four: Top Five Favorite Things About The Internet

Day Five: Top Five Places You’d Like To Live

Day Six: Top Five Things That Happened To You This Past Year

Day Seven: Top Five Favorite Historical Figures

Day Eight: Top Five Biggest Fictional Crushes

Day Nine: Top Five People You’d Like To Kill

Day Ten: Top Five Reasons You Feel The Way You Do Right Now

Day Eleven: Top Five Languages You Wish You Were Fluent In

Day Twelve: Top Five Trends/Styles You Abhor

Day Thirteen: Top Five Dream Jobs

Day Fourteen: Top Five Things You’d Do If You Had Magical Abilities

Day Fifteen: Top Five Favorite Beverages

Day Sixteen: Top Five Things In Life You’d Like An Explanation For

Day Seventeen: Top Five Favorite Things To Do Where You Live

Day Eighteen: Top Five Favorite Sporting Events

Day Nineteen: Top Five Favorite Sandwiches

Day Twenty: Top Five Most Annoying Celebrities

Day Twenty-One: Top Five Movies You Quote Constantly

Day Twenty-Two: Top Five Sexiest People Ever (Dead Or Alive)

Day Twenty-Three: Top Five Worst Teachers You’ve Ever Had

Day Twenty-Four: Top Five Things You Do During “Me-Time”

Day Twenty-Five: Top Five Products You Most Desire

Day Twenty-Six: Top Five Most Useful Inventions

Day Twenty-Seven: Top Five Most Annoying Things About Yourself

Day Twenty-Eight: Top Five Favorite TV Shows

Day Twenty-Nine: Top Five Biggest Guilty Pleasures

Day Thirty: Top Five Favorite Song Lyrics

Things that never happen in a typical Simbang Gabi

So tonight my family and I went to the mass and went on with the usual routine. After the mass, we were waiting for my brother because he had a meeting with some other kids for a sports fest. So I was sitting on one side quietly playing  Tetris although I was losing already because the blocks were coming down too fast D: when suddenly this random 16-year old kid of our family friend came up to me and asked if he can talk to me about something. Being a "responsible" noona (older sister in Korean--pardon my use of said language, I am used to it), I said "Sure. What is this about?" He said that he likes this girl who is about 3 years older than him, the daughter of one family friend who they're close to, a graduating college student who's "pretty serious about anything". I was so clueless about who it was and told him that there's nothing wrong about liking someone older as long as both parties are mature enough to handle responsibilities and he was like, "Really? So if I told you that I really like you, will you be okay with it?"

*Insert facepalm* - My head was going "------loading---------error" because I seriously cannot comprehend his confession to me. I know he's a really nice kid but, no. That's not my thing. With that, I shall end the post. I would rather not talk about the other details.:))

-SHJ

A pat in the back

Yesterday, I really had a bad day and all that shiz... but I had to continue breathing for today's main event, the grades (I will make a separate post) and so life went on. Le angry mom told me to prepare for the Simbang Gabi (a Filipino tradition of going to mass at dawn for 9 straight days) because our mini community was assigned for the offering and then we went to the church.

When the time for the offering came, I started walking and after giving our family's offer, I went to the little corner beside the altar so that the other "offer-ers" will have more space and the only thing behind me was the Christmas wreath. So I was standing and spacing out as well when suddenly...someone or something gave me a pat in the back. YES, I felt it. I knew it was a hand so I turned and to my surprise, no one was there. I felt goosebumps, I mean I am 200% sure the Christmas wreath can't do that (although it probably can in some other parallel dimension). It did give the creepy feel to it but after that, I felt that it was what I REALLY, REALLY needed yesterday.

So, I THANK THAT BEING WHO GAVE ME THE PAT. THANK YOU FOR COMFORTING ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE TO COMFORT ME. >:D<

-SHJ

Today.

Just had a fight with my mom. I feel....uhm... sad.

Needed someone to talk to...but apparently, even so-called "best friend" didn't answer my call in skype so yeah. I'm just stating my current feelings here. makes you feel a little better.

Must pretend to be happy. :D

K.Thanks.Bye.

Regrets

It feels off to keep on writing about negative things however, I can't help it...as of the moment. Probably, in a few days happier thoughts will come to me.

So yeah.

Just a dream

I had the weirdest dream (so far) last night.

There's a difference

Your is an adjective
You're is short for "you are". :)

Silenced

There are a few things that I am looking forward to this coming Christmas Break. For one, I will purchase and/or download all albums, movies, and/or TV shows that I missed. On top of my list will be this Korean movie, Silenced (Also known as The Crucible or 도가니). I've heard good reviews about this movie and  I cannot wait to watch this (with or without subtitles). The story is based on the same title of a novel by Jee-young Gong.

The whole story revolves around a the abuse of children with special needs by the administrators of their school. A new teacher, Kang In-Ho (played by Gong Yoo -- the main character from Coffee Prince) discovers the numerous assaults experienced by the students from the administrators as well as other teachers. The movie was directed by Hwang Dong-hyuk.

Tagboard!

Huzzah! Before I actually go back to work, I wanna create organization in this little blog so I will tag them accordingly:

Life Plans: Life After You

Warning:

Emo post below. hahaha. Read at your own risk.

Right now, I should be editing our thesis for its final submission on Wednesday but here I am writing another blog post. The reason for this blog post is the thing that has been bothering me for the longest time (at least for the last two months). 

Current Thoughts (edited post from old blog)

Things that I need to finish/worry about ASAP. le sad. Currently, I am thinking about the following things:

• Revising ze thesis
• Deadlines of ze thesis
• Japan (APECA) on May 2012 and PACERS on February 2012
• Graduation on June 2012
• Writing a letter for my practicum enrollment (stupid EDUPSY2)
• The EDUPSY1 thingy- need to FINISH ASAP
• The CNSLNG2 research paper that needs MAJOR WORK
• MONEY. I NEED LOTS OF THIS
• The Sad 2011 Christmas
• Hanging out with HS Friends
• The December 30 event
• The forum
• Grades
• Diet, Meal plans, GYM
• Life Plans
• Being taken for granted
• Thinking about why we are having a "tension"/"argument"/"fight" or something like that...now
• Thinking about why we are having a "tension"/"argument"/"fight" or something like that...now
• Thinking about why we are having a "tension"/"argument"/"fight" or something like that...now
• Thinking about why we are having a "tension"/"argument"/"fight" or something like that...now
• Thinking about why we are having a "tension"/"argument"/"fight" or something like that...now

I don't even know how I manage to live everyday with everything that I am thinking about. Gah. emotional baggage.

-SHJ

First Post

Wow. I can't believe I'm back in Blogger again. It feels like a lot has changed here....even the language became...uhm...in Filipino. Anyway, why am I back in Blogger? Well... just felt like it.

Okay. So much for a first post. I am still working on the layout of this blog but srsly...layout-ing blogs are easier in Daum...or maybe it's because I have not been in Blogger for a few years.